KAL HO NAA HO
坂口愛子の人形日記です。
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嫉妬

私は嫉妬という言葉が嫌いだ。一番醜い人間の感情だと思っている。だから嫉妬という醜い感情を持った自分は許せないと思っている。醜い自分は、自分で許せない。だから、嫉妬はしても、嫉妬を相手にぶつけたりはしない。逆に自分のふがいなさ、未熟さを恥じる。もっと努力しなきゃと思う。私、プライド高いから。
他人の嫉妬でおこるバトルを傍観していると、あまりにも醜くて、とても不快になる。私が本気で怒るツボはここだったりする。何故相手を思いやれないのかと思う。

昔、間違っている事を間違っていると主張しただけなのに、嫉妬であんな事をやっていると嘘を言いふらされた時はとてもショックだった。
申し訳ないけど、私はそんな低次元なレベルの人間じゃないから。


今はそんな事を他人に言わせない、つけこまれない強さを持てばいいんだと思っている。


これが今の私です。
ちょっとコワイか。あは。


最近、またダイレクトな嫉妬の感情をを目の当たりにする出来事があったので書きました。傍観していて、とても疲れました。やめて欲しかったな。
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坂口愛子(sakaguchi kanako)

Author:坂口愛子(sakaguchi kanako)
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KAL HO NAA HO とは、「明日が来なくても」という意味です。


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